Hello everyone! Before my email I just want to sincerely apologize to anyone who emailed me or reached out to me today. I haven’t had the opportunity to respond to anyone. It has been quite the day and i know this email should have been sent earlier, but Elder Grubbs will use the atonement and try harder next week. This will be a very different email than my usual weeklys. Instead of my day to day experiences, it will be my thoughts and feelings that I have been feeling lately.
I’ve had a lot of time to ponder and reflect on my time spent here in Marshall. Unfortunately, my time here with Elder Dawe has come to an end. Our whole apartment got “pink washed” meaning 2 sets of sisters will replace us 2 sets of Elders. It was honestly some pretty devastating news for Elder Grubbs. I will be going to Rowlett Texas in the Spanish ward. If you know anything about me, you would know that Elder Grubbs does not like change. Change is the absolute worst. Even if something begins to be annoying or bothersome, I’d rather deal with it than having a huge change. In the mission you find that you have to deal with change a lot. It has definitely been quite the struggle.
The hardest part of the mission by far is having to leave those you care about. In every area there are people you grow very close to. Being in Paris for almost 8 months, I was a wreck leaving everybody. Buy even though I’ve only been here around 3 months, it’s still a little difficult for me. Especially in the aspect of looking forward to strengthening those relationships with others like members and friends we teach. Leaving Marshall was a blindside shot. I didn’t really mentally prepare myself to leave because I thought I would stay. So it was hard to get transfer news. Every missionary goes through these same thoughts and feelings but it really can be tough.
It’s hard seeing the friends you teach grow their testimonies and love for the book of Mormon and then having to leave them. I want more than anything to help Cristian continue to strengthen his testimony of the Book of Mormon. Even on our call tonight saying our goodbyes, he told us he heard on the radio something about giving 10% to the lord. He asked us about it and we ended up teaching him about tithing. We talked about where those funds go and how its an outward expression to the lord of obedience, love, and faith. He thought it was so cool and wanted to start that. I was amazed because he had talked to us about money management prior and how he needs more money and to save more. It was a powerful conversation and really showed how fast he is progressing. He is so elect and because of that, I know Satan is gonna work hard on him. He was pretty devastating to hear Elder Dawe and I were leaving. I was getting pretty choked up just talking on the phone. But he said it best, “God knows what’s best for us”. He always knows something we don’t.
Coming up to the halfway point of the mission I have so many mixed emotions. Part of me wants to work harder because I only have so much time and I want to be the best missionary I can. Other parts of me see people like Cristian and wonder why I have to leave someone so soon. It’s not easy for Elder Grubbs to have an eternal perspective sometimes. I am human. I have my doubts and my downfalls. My faith however does not change. I know the Lord puts me where I need to be with the people that need me, and the people that I need. Sometimes, as my father would often say, you just need to “embrace the suck”. Remind yourself as I often do: “poco a poco Elder Grubbs, poco a poco”.
I know the Lord has a plan for each one of you individually. I have a testimony that he places you where you need to be, around the people you need to be around. He is aware of you. He is aware of your doubts. He is aware of your fears. He is aware of your insecurities. He is aware of WHO you are. And he is aware if who you need to become. Trust in him. Acquire his help. He loves you. And he wants more than anything for you to succeed and to be happy. So be happy. Use the blessings he has given you to find joy. Muchos besos a todos mis amigos! And remember, God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.
All my love & care
Elder Dallin Grubbs
